would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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