The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
