For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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