eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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