best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
