Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We have started to decorate penises.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm like, not good at living.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
