She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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