I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize