i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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