Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I need to align my fucking chakras
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
