Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
