If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
