I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
