I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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