Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
