He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
