It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
