Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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