Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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