so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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