But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
