Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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