Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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