I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
