where am i from again
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
