He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
