sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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