I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
