i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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