Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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