My room smells like vodka and shame
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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