i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
