high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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