I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
