Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
