I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
