I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
