Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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