Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I didn't notice because vodka
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
