Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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