i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
