Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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