So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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