so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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