And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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