Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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