no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
