The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
