My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
