the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
