I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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