Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize