why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize