hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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