im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
