separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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