Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
