dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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