just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
