so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
