It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
