hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
