Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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